Alok K.
P.S. Thanks Blogger.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The blue shadows
I am walking with many people on a road, that leads to nowhere. Suddenly I have a feeling that I am being followed by no one. I look back. There is no one there. I get a feeling that nobody's leading me either. I look straight again.
Sheer cipher. Nobody.
I am walking alone. Everything has disappeared.
I realise that I am walking on a thin but straight thread, and am amused by the perfect balance that I have been maintaining.
But no more. Now I am feeling dizzy. The Acrophobia grips me. I look down. There is a vast stretch of nothingness. I try to keep walking, and raise my left step very carefully. I am trying not to loose my balance.
I touch the thread with my raised foot. To find a base, to move forward.
But as soon as I touch it, darkness creeps in. I can not see anything. The thread, the vast nothingness, the balance... all gone. I stand still.
A cold fear. A raw admonition. A dark hunch.
And then blue shadows spread all around, bringing into life blue lights out of nowhere. And the whole space goes blue. Blue walls, blue floors, blue hopes.
And darkness blues off my heart, spreading a mystical ambiance outside, and inside.
Sheer cipher. Nobody.
I am walking alone. Everything has disappeared.
I realise that I am walking on a thin but straight thread, and am amused by the perfect balance that I have been maintaining.
But no more. Now I am feeling dizzy. The Acrophobia grips me. I look down. There is a vast stretch of nothingness. I try to keep walking, and raise my left step very carefully. I am trying not to loose my balance.
I touch the thread with my raised foot. To find a base, to move forward.
But as soon as I touch it, darkness creeps in. I can not see anything. The thread, the vast nothingness, the balance... all gone. I stand still.
A cold fear. A raw admonition. A dark hunch.
And then blue shadows spread all around, bringing into life blue lights out of nowhere. And the whole space goes blue. Blue walls, blue floors, blue hopes.
And darkness blues off my heart, spreading a mystical ambiance outside, and inside.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
3 long years of having blogged.
17 Aug 2007: Happy after Such a Long Time.
17 Aug 2010: 3 Long Years of having Blogged.
Lol. Sorry people, for having eaten your minds this long. But your brains have been delicious, lemme tell you. :D
And the thing that matters the most is that I am all the more hungry these days. For proof, see the statistics on the right. :)
Alok K.
17 August, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Drenched wet.
Friends were waiting at the exit steps for the rain to stop. I looked at the sky. The lovely raindrops were falling so blissfully over everything exposed. I did not want them to stop. I wanted to get their blessings too.
If only I could do something about my bag...
I turned back, went to the fifth year studio, and shoved my bag and the internship documents in an empty drawer.
And leaving the people waiting at the steps, I came out.
Out into the rains.
My two year old shreeleather sandals have been torn apart at the mid soles already, creating a wide gap between the front portion of the sole and the back portion. I dont replace them not because I don't have money, but partially because I can't find time to go to any good footwear shop and partially because I love the time worn grooves in the sandals which totally fit the ergonomics of my feet.
Today, while walking in the rain from the department to Azad, I felt the raindrops on my face. And the raindrops on the earth through the holed soles. Sky was not to disappoint me today.
I was having a sore throat since two days, and the tonsils were reminding of their presence since today morning.
And then getting wet in the rain. I feel alive again.
Alok K.
Aug 12, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Interesting Indian Idioms and phrases (Folk) -1
Recently I stumbled upon a website that had a collection of bhojpuri idioms. I thoroughly enjoyed them, and wish to share some of them on this blog of mine. ( Of course, with my personal insights. :) )
1. जेतना के मुन्ना ना ओतना के झुनझुना।
This one is my favorite, and is pretty easy to understand and use. It basically mocks the complex paraphernalia attached to a relatively simpler core element. :D Funny one.
2. पइसा ना कौड़ी, बीच बाजार में दौड़ा-दौड़ी।
This particular phrase always comes to my mind whenever I run short of money while roaming in a marketplace. :) But that's the superficial part of it. On analyzing a little more, I feel that it mocks anyone who is trying to do something which he just cannot afford to, and hence the end result would be futile, no matter what.
3. नीम हकीम खतरे जान, भीतर गोली बाहर प्रान।
While I had heard the first part of this idiom many times before, I was surely missing the punch of this one. "Bheetar Goli baahar Praan." Superficially it shows the fear of a person who does not believe in medicines. Going slightly deeper, it shows unjustified fear from new things, and telling people that its better to continue living like they were doing before. Of course I don't agree to it, but that doesn't lessen the fun anyways. :D
4.खाए के मन ना नौ गो बहाना।
Hehe... No explanations. Love the sheer rawness of it.
5.अभागा गइले ससुरार, तहँवो मांड़े-भात।
:D Shows the plight of an unfortunate who got the worst even when he ought to get the best. "maand-bhat" remains a very basic meal, and it has been used to show the low return from a seemingly very fortunate occasion. Of course on normal days, a son in law would never be offered Rice with rice water in his in-laws' place...
Will share some more pearls like these in the days to come. Keep visiting the blog. :D
Alok K.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
The day my feelings died.
I took my small wooden boat and reached to the shore. Why does life have to be this complicated? Why should I have to think this much before taking any action. The sea seemed very violent from the shore itself. But more violent was my soul today. I saw lightening in the night sky and knew that the weather was lagging behind my soul, for inside, it was raining already...
I untied the boat from the hook. How easy it is to untie a physical object. If only we could untie our feelings so easily... The wind was blowing hard. The tattered sail started to acknowledge the storm. I wanted to go as far from the land as possible. My land, of course was in the sea tonight.
Sea is such a beautiful thing in night. The curvy waves reminded me of her. The moon that reflected on her forehead once was still there; only this time it was on the entire sea. The small waves made a million of moons in themselves, and I saw the sea full of silver. How could gold have such power that it could corrode our souls? May be that's the reason why my father had once said... "Gold, though itself can not be corroded, but nevertheless, has a corrosive character..."
Sea, when calm; and sea when violent: they are two things. Vastly different. Tonight I could hear it roaring in my ears. Could the sea hear my heart's roar tonight? Why was I getting a feeling that the thunderstorm was nothing but the echo of my restlessness? Somehow this untamed sea seemed to have more fidelity. Than the untamed her. I felt something cold on my back. And then my forehead. I looked up. Millions of small gray dots of chilled waterdrops were coming towards me. As if they wanted to tell me that I was not alone. I kept looking up. They welcomed me, and I embraced them, by allowing them the grace of reaching through my body, into my soul. The way I had once allowed her to do the same.
The boat kept on moving towards the sea. Some kind of low pressure had developed somewhere in the middle and the air from all the surrounding areas was being sucked into it, taking with itself my small boat. I could have fought the winds that day. But for whom?
Now I could hear the storm roaring before me. The restless waves, the wind and the rain finally had reached my level of stir. The time had come.
I eyed the sea one last time. My real lover.
The sky one last time. My real creator.
The land one last time. My real devastator.
All I had wanted ever was to love her. What did I get in return? Nonreciprocating feelings. I wanted to give her every happiness of my life, only to find out that every small happiness of mine fell a mile short for even qualifying as a smile for her. I wanted to see her smile, but longings didn't have the gold enough to deserve those.
The world, as it seemed, had no place for feelings.
But feelings were all I had. And if the world didn't need feelings, how was I to survive here?
And then, it all happened so slowly, as if I allowed it to happen my way. One last time. The wind, slowly tore apart the sail. The boat jerked heavily and turned sideways. The lustful sea water reached for my body. Hungry. I took a deep breath. I knew this was going to be my last one. I eyed the sea. Beautiful, blue, moonlit sea. Then darkness surrounded me. The ears received strange noises. The mind began to think slow. Slower... The limbs were not jerking anyways. Now they stopped trembling.
My violent storm had calmed.
Outside the storm was still at its prime. It had lagged behind my soul this time too.
Alok K.
July 24, 2010
I untied the boat from the hook. How easy it is to untie a physical object. If only we could untie our feelings so easily... The wind was blowing hard. The tattered sail started to acknowledge the storm. I wanted to go as far from the land as possible. My land, of course was in the sea tonight.
Sea is such a beautiful thing in night. The curvy waves reminded me of her. The moon that reflected on her forehead once was still there; only this time it was on the entire sea. The small waves made a million of moons in themselves, and I saw the sea full of silver. How could gold have such power that it could corrode our souls? May be that's the reason why my father had once said... "Gold, though itself can not be corroded, but nevertheless, has a corrosive character..."
Sea, when calm; and sea when violent: they are two things. Vastly different. Tonight I could hear it roaring in my ears. Could the sea hear my heart's roar tonight? Why was I getting a feeling that the thunderstorm was nothing but the echo of my restlessness? Somehow this untamed sea seemed to have more fidelity. Than the untamed her. I felt something cold on my back. And then my forehead. I looked up. Millions of small gray dots of chilled waterdrops were coming towards me. As if they wanted to tell me that I was not alone. I kept looking up. They welcomed me, and I embraced them, by allowing them the grace of reaching through my body, into my soul. The way I had once allowed her to do the same.
The boat kept on moving towards the sea. Some kind of low pressure had developed somewhere in the middle and the air from all the surrounding areas was being sucked into it, taking with itself my small boat. I could have fought the winds that day. But for whom?
Now I could hear the storm roaring before me. The restless waves, the wind and the rain finally had reached my level of stir. The time had come.
I eyed the sea one last time. My real lover.
The sky one last time. My real creator.
The land one last time. My real devastator.
All I had wanted ever was to love her. What did I get in return? Nonreciprocating feelings. I wanted to give her every happiness of my life, only to find out that every small happiness of mine fell a mile short for even qualifying as a smile for her. I wanted to see her smile, but longings didn't have the gold enough to deserve those.
The world, as it seemed, had no place for feelings.
But feelings were all I had. And if the world didn't need feelings, how was I to survive here?
And then, it all happened so slowly, as if I allowed it to happen my way. One last time. The wind, slowly tore apart the sail. The boat jerked heavily and turned sideways. The lustful sea water reached for my body. Hungry. I took a deep breath. I knew this was going to be my last one. I eyed the sea. Beautiful, blue, moonlit sea. Then darkness surrounded me. The ears received strange noises. The mind began to think slow. Slower... The limbs were not jerking anyways. Now they stopped trembling.
My violent storm had calmed.
Outside the storm was still at its prime. It had lagged behind my soul this time too.
Alok K.
July 24, 2010
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