I hate you.
Why don't you understand this? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to learn how to hate you? You can't imagine how it feels to switch over from love to hatred.
But i can. For, i have experienced it. Its not easy, and each time i see you, this battle of love and hatred tears me apart.
Do you like to see me getting tormented? Do you get thrills by watching me loose my normal senses when i see you? If not, then why do you keep appearing before me everyday, and making my life all the more difficult? Can't you leave me alone? With my friends, my assignments,myself ???
Is it necessary for you to put me in a dilemma of my response towards you? I don't miss you anymore in the classes, nor do i feel lonely when not with you. Then why do u make me feel my loneliness, by standing in front of me, and talking to other ppl?
They say, the antonym of love is not hatred, but indifference. Rightly said. But very wrongly placed. Being indifferent to a person who was once very special to you is like an ultimate torchure. Why don't you take pity on me and leave me alone ???
It is my humble request to you. I am not over you yet, and am constantly trying to do so.
Seeking help for that was never the objective of this post, but at least don't make things difficult for me, Please ...
After all, i am only human,
and you used to be my first love.
Can't you understand?
Argh, Whom am i talking to....
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Who Says Spring is best? I go for Winter.
Hmmmm, Winter has arrived. And guess how i noticed it in Kgp campus.... I came out of my economics class of 7:30am (which, by the way, i had been bunking since a long time!!).As i walking on the road that led to the archi dep., i felt very comfortable and kinda happy.I looked around for reasons of my sudden pleasure, and only then i noticed that it was the warm sunlight that was so much pleasing to my body and my soul...
Winter has always been my favourite time of the year. A windy, chilly night with a cup of coffee,and a friend to talk with.. that's what it takes to intoxicate me.. who needs alcohols??? On any given winter evening, with the leaves of the trees falling as if giving company to the breeze, and the people sporting warm clothes and shivering for that quantum of heat, i normally step out on empty streets. All this coldness and calmness excites my senses of perception pretty much.
Winter makes me nostalgic, too. It reminds me of my childhood, when we used to play cricket on the roof top in winter evenings....with a 5 rupee plastic ball. Each time anyone of us struck the ball hard, no one dared to stop it, for it hurts hard when its winter.
And then, i get reminded of the school days,when we used to go to the schools, sporting blazers and sweaters... I loved the colour of the blazer of my crush. It was different from other girls of my class... May be that showed that she was different from others, and well, i love ppl who are not of the common lot.
Winter reminds me of my mom, with her hands busy in knitting sweaters for me. (personally, i have never liked a sweater, but have worn it just to appreciate how much my mom cared for me.)
Winter reminds me of the solitude of jee preparations... when i used to study whole day,all alone, just to reach where now i am.(You see, i am not a born talent like those stereotype nerds and geeks, and have to work hard for achieving anything.)It reminds me of all the efforts i made, all the midnight oil i burnt, and all the parties i missed for one single reason, IIT.
And none the less, Winter is an integral part of my dream sequence with my date...A winter evening, with we walking on an empty road, hand in hand, i wearing a thin shirt and jeans, and she wearing my jacket over her clothes, and we talking about our relationship and understandings, and well, love.
Hmmm, yet another winter has arrived. And I have begun to get intoxicated. This time, there would be no roof top cricket, no mom-made sweaters, no crushes with school blazers, no jee preparations... but yes, i am looking forward for newer experiences of life. I am looking forward for a new winter, with all its warm promises. It may be that i am expecting much. But thats me, anyways.. expecting too much from everything, and
everyone.
I only wish that i may not get hurt sentimentally this winter.
Coz' it hurts hard, when its winter.
Alec.
Winter has always been my favourite time of the year. A windy, chilly night with a cup of coffee,and a friend to talk with.. that's what it takes to intoxicate me.. who needs alcohols??? On any given winter evening, with the leaves of the trees falling as if giving company to the breeze, and the people sporting warm clothes and shivering for that quantum of heat, i normally step out on empty streets. All this coldness and calmness excites my senses of perception pretty much.
Winter makes me nostalgic, too. It reminds me of my childhood, when we used to play cricket on the roof top in winter evenings....with a 5 rupee plastic ball. Each time anyone of us struck the ball hard, no one dared to stop it, for it hurts hard when its winter.
And then, i get reminded of the school days,when we used to go to the schools, sporting blazers and sweaters... I loved the colour of the blazer of my crush. It was different from other girls of my class... May be that showed that she was different from others, and well, i love ppl who are not of the common lot.
Winter reminds me of my mom, with her hands busy in knitting sweaters for me. (personally, i have never liked a sweater, but have worn it just to appreciate how much my mom cared for me.)
Winter reminds me of the solitude of jee preparations... when i used to study whole day,all alone, just to reach where now i am.(You see, i am not a born talent like those stereotype nerds and geeks, and have to work hard for achieving anything.)It reminds me of all the efforts i made, all the midnight oil i burnt, and all the parties i missed for one single reason, IIT.
And none the less, Winter is an integral part of my dream sequence with my date...A winter evening, with we walking on an empty road, hand in hand, i wearing a thin shirt and jeans, and she wearing my jacket over her clothes, and we talking about our relationship and understandings, and well, love.
Hmmm, yet another winter has arrived. And I have begun to get intoxicated. This time, there would be no roof top cricket, no mom-made sweaters, no crushes with school blazers, no jee preparations... but yes, i am looking forward for newer experiences of life. I am looking forward for a new winter, with all its warm promises. It may be that i am expecting much. But thats me, anyways.. expecting too much from everything, and
everyone.
I only wish that i may not get hurt sentimentally this winter.
Coz' it hurts hard, when its winter.
Alec.
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