Mobile Blogging: Marriage.

Dear blog. 

Sometimes you have got nothing better to do than to blog. And it is one of those times, it seems. 

Sitting in front of the mandap, watching one's friend's sister's marriage ceremony being carried on; and side by side, seeing one's friends succumbing to slumber slowly but surely is not a very enthusiastic sight; and this is what has propelled me to post a blog from my friend's e71. 

Today's discussion: Marriage.

My fetish for post modernism forces me to see marriage from a bird's eye view. And on first sight, it seems pretty strange. How two- three days of seemingly very religious acts on a local level, but holistically mindless extravagant activities form the base of the society, is sometimes beyond me. I mean, till one particular day, the society expects you not to even touch a girl publically, and then, all of a sudden, you are given the responsibility of a girl. You can touch her, and more than that, you have to protect her. From the world. You are expected to start a new life with that girl, who becomes woman with you; as you yourself become a man. 

Biologically, i cant help but accept the fact that the whole concept of marriage is nothing but bullshit. Human beings, like any other animal species, dont need any social acceptance to father a child. But then, there is more to humanity than the mere biological aspect of it. Society. Small word, but lethal if disobeyed. Society has the contract of making sure that each male gets a female, and even more surely, gets only one girl. Of course i am not entering into the concept of polygamy, which being an exception, proves the rule.

 Pre marital sex. Indian society? Banned. On a sliding gaze, it has got to be banned. Morality has to prevail in the society. But on a deeper thought, is that morality is the only issue which condemns pms? I mean, telling lies is highly immoral, but i know i am not wrong when i say that it is the society that teaches us how to lie. There has got to be something deeper than morality. Sense of sin? May be. But as a matter of fact, i dont think that the new generation believes in sins and absolutions. At least i dont, and i know that i am not alone. Nothing in this world is wrong or right. Its the timing that makes it so. Coming back to our topic, for example, you make love with a girl before marriage, and its condemned, and may have dire consequences in extreme cases. And you make love with a girl after marriage, and everybody is happy about it. Consummation is considered to be  the base of a marriage. 

Its not that i am against marriage or something. I know the importance of marriage in the indian society and dont wish to challenge the basic concept of it. But i just wonder. How marriage changes lives. Boy to man and girl to woman. Marriage seems to be a social acceptance of one's private life. Do we, as individual homo sapiens need this approval? No. As human being? 

Yes. Because of another concept called family. The concept that makes my heart beat and my pistons fire. Something metaphysical chooses our family, and we live throughout our lives to make our family members feel comfortable. We share bonds, share lives. May be it is this concept of family that makes this masquerade of lonely existence worth living. I know i am a lone soul in this world, and yet i choose not to live alone. Reason? love. selfish or selfless, love. The sense of affection with people. They may be your family members, and may be beyond. But undoubtedly, this lion's share of love's effect is too big to miss. The acceptance of having this fake sense of belonging is what makes us human. And i dont want apotheosis anyways. I pity who left their families for attaining a 'higher' truth. 

Two things. One, their ain't no higher truth. Two, even if there were one, we humans, with our corporal limitations cant attain it. So may be this whole life is meant to be a pompous charade,  however modest we might try to be.

Coming back to pms, it is condemned because it challenges the very essence of marriage. It designifies the basic perk of marriage. Kills the basic fun and spark of it. For enthusiastic people, it is just another activity. For conservative ones, a taboo. I am not against pre marital sex, but i kind of hate live in relationships. Having sex might be any other biological activity, but making love, certainly is not. 

And i know i dont need to justify myself, for these are my personal thoughts... 

Anyways, its dawn now, and i should better stop. My friends have woken up, and i seem to be creating a scene here, tapping on this qwerty cell since the last one hour. I should better leave, and enjoy the ceremony. God. to hell with marriage and pre marital sex. I wanna sleep right now.

Alok k.

22june,2010